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A Few Things Not To Do When Fighting a Giant
This is your typical awful one-shot about how an idiot gets captured or eaten by a giant for doing stupid things. Plot twist at the end. HunterofArtemis12 '-Will-' I'd been on the monsters trail for days. My feet were swollen and calloused, my lips were chapped and dry due to lack of water and my legs were so stiff it was a miracle I could stand at all. I had to constantly stop to slap them, as they'd begun the 'uncontrollable shaking' stage. As I walked through the muddy confines of the forest, following the giant back to its homeland I cursed my father. It was his suggestion that I should do this pointless job. "Go kill all the giants in the land," he said. "You'll be a hero!" He said. Where was I three years later? Still on the trail of hunting every giant in the dam (The Titan's Curse reference) country with no publicity at all. I really was starting to hate the gods. How could they be so cruel? I shifted the weight of my sword to my left hand and used my right hand as a visor to block out the sun in my eyes. Where had the monster gone? I'd lost it about five miles back, seeing as its legs were the length of a middle school soccer field. So yes, I'd stopped for breaks but only because they were necessary. In the midst of all the pain I was subject too, I was also slowing dying from starvation. My stomach growled and I winced- I only had so much food left. Did I dare risk eating it? My rumbling tummy won in the end and I stopped walking. I found a large boulder not far away, and decided to make myself comfortable. I slumped against the rock and removed the brown sack from my back and rummaged through it. A handful of drachma- only enough for one more meal- and a piece of crumbling moldy bread. I didn't even know where that bread came from- it must have been there from when I bought this bag at Olympians-Mart. As I sat, I couldn't help but thinking I'd kill for water. It was true- I was that desperate. My throat felt as if a wildfire had been planted inside until it was so bad I would literally try to drink my own saliva. I did what I could the past few days, licking and chewing leaves, and crying to get some moisture, but it wasn't nearly enough for what I was supposed to be getting. I'd even lost all my ambrosia, because of the last giant I'd fought. Sure, I'd rushed right up to it and tried to hide out of sight- how was I supposed to know he was going to sit down? I double checked my canteen which was empty of nectar as wall. I broke apart the bread and stuffed some in my mouth, chewing loudly and obnoxiously. My throat screamed for liquid to satisfy my desperation but there was no water source to be found. I considered dropping to my hands and knees to try and drain water from the thick mud beneath my feet, but decided I wasn't that desperate yet. (Of course, I had forgotten to mention, I considered waiting until a deer finished urinating on a bush to rush over and drink, but after later consultation, I'm sure I was going crazy. That's plain nasty.) I wondered what my step-mother would say- Juno queen of the Heavens. I chomped on the bread hard almost in anger about thinking about her, and chipped part of my tooth off. She was always chiding me to be a gentleman, which I found completely unfair. None of the other demigods had to do any of this stupid quest stuff. My dad, Jupiter was the one who even got me started on this stupid chore anyways. You would think I would get some recognition- Will the awesome terrifying slayer of giants and son of the almighty Jupiter. But noooo. Just as I stood up from my crouched position and tied my falling-apart sack securely to my back, I felt a strange breeze rush by me. It ruffled my hair and just about blew my forwards. I stumbled to regain my footing and tilted my head. The wind blew north then back south, north than south. It kept going and I realized it must be breathing. But nothing could breathe that loud or that forcefully...unless...slowly, without making any sudden movements I turned my head ever so slightly, trying to get a good panorama of whatever was behind me. Out of the corner of my eye I noted a tall figure hunched over behind a patch of pine trees. My neck hairs stood straight up. Behind me stood the giant, crouched low to the ground watching me intently through the forest of trees it's 'hiding place'. Every bone in my body froze, and I guess I should have been thinking "Gee I'm scared" or "Darn it I'm going to die" but I was really wondering how a giant of that size could sneak up on me. I'm not a complete idiot though...probably. "HEY GIANT!" I screamed up at the monster at the top of my lungs. Stealth? Forget about it. He knew I could see him, he could see me. Big deal. The giant turned to look at me, fixing his small brown eyes on my figure. I didn't feel so brave anymore, but I stepped up with what I hoped looked like confidence and not trembling knee's knocking together. "YEAH YOU BIG UGLY!" I shouted waving my Imperial gold sword arm in emphasis. The hilt bounced back at me in hit me in the forehead. I winced and rubbed the swelling spot. I looked like an idiot, I really hoped giants had bad memory. He might go tell all his buddies about the loser he ate for breakfast. His expression turned from surprise to anger as he registered my words. "Gahrrrr?" He growled, more like a question as if saying 'did you just say I was ugly? That was rude!' I nodded violently, but stopped as soon as I pictured my head rolling off my neck from shaking it too furiously. This giant seemed sneakier then the ones I'd ever seen before. I was (99%) confident I could take him. I was the best sword fighter of this century. Except...we weren't sparring. "YEAH!" I pounded the ground with my foot, trying to show a bit of aggression. I'd used this technique with different giants. You make yourself seem big and tall and scarier, kind of like what people do with bears. I was a tricky one as well. Two can play at this game. I was taken aback when the giant actually spoke. "Son of Zeus?" He asked, grinning with missing teeth. They were so yellow and rotten it took all my willpower to look away. That kind of surprised me. Most people think I'm a son of Hermes. Don't ask me why, maybe I have a thief-type complexion. I nodded and figured he wanted to kill me. Most people had that reaction when I went at them with a deadly gold sword. "Good riddance," He rumbled as if reading my mind. The huge monster took a step forward, crunching a row of tree's like twigs. I shuddered and stepped back, imagining those trees as my spine. Still, I couldn't let fear rule me. I had to act like I knew what I was doing but honestly, I was still frozen in fear from the shock that he could freaking TALK. Deep breaths, in out, in out. Oxygen is good. So is the sky. Maybe if I could get up there...no that's too risky. Lightning is best when you're higher up, but falling is not. I'll explain that later. I masked a look of pure calm over my face and shouted up: "HEY UGLY! JUST MAKE ME STARE AT YOUR ROTTEN TEETH AND I'LL KEEL OVER AND DIE!" I waved my hand in front of my face, hamming up how disgusted I was. "REALLY! BRUSH YOUR TEETH MAN!" I coughed for emphasis. The giants face flushed with anger, spreading from his ugly screwed up face to his arms which turned red as well. The red disease swept downwards, clearing past his stomach and down to his legs. In other words, it was fascinating to watch. "Demigods," He muttered under his breath and brought a fist smashing down in my direction. Taken by surprise, I barely had enough time to roll a few yards, my head connecting with the said friendly rock that had let me rest on it. I didn't know if my skull could take all these beatings in one day. Grunting, I picked up my sword again and faced the giant once more. It was a little hard to concentrate, my head was seriously throbbing. I made out the blurry image of a large person in front of me. My vision seemed to be clearing, but I had to stall for a moment. I almost regretted not bringing a shield. A shield meant more weight to carry, but right now it might have come in handy. "C'mon Tartarus Spawn!" I taunted, doing some type of feet shuffling maneuver. "Is that the best you can do?" The giant glared at me with it's beady eyes and opened it's mouth wide, displaying the bones of whatever poor mortal it had for lunch. I tried not to wince, but the sight of blood still traumatized me...especially after.... Stay focused. I reminded myself. Don't move your feet until you need too. The giant lurched forward, apparently deciding he was done showing off his breakfast. I chose that moment to summon a bit of lightning to my sword. The giant stopped and stared at me as I sucked up lightning into my sword. His expression was something like 'what are you doing?' I grinned at him like we were long lost friends, then blasted him back with 10,000 kilowatts of pure electricity. It probably did some good, a little jab with a small taser to him. I was hoping for a little more damage, that would have killed the past three (small) giants I'd been hunting. He flew backwards a good twenty feet, his clothes steaming and chest blackened. Sadly, it did not kill him. Growling he got to his feet leaving a good sized imprint in the ground. I didn't have the strength to call more lightning. That was a one time trick. However...an inkling of a plan began to trickle into my brain. If I could time it right and then bring my sword in at the right angle...I could do it. I waited for the giant to approach, waiting patiently. He must have known something was up, he walked closer. Almost wary and more cautious like he knew I had to be up to something. I sliced, but I missed barely managing to stab him in his ankle. His bellow was loud and then his foot rose and stomped back into the ground. I flew up a couple feet, as if I were on a trampoline, and then crushed back down. I hadn't yet hit the ground when I stopped falling. I cursed as two large fingers plucked me up by my shirt. I kicked out, but of course I only managed in hitting air. My bag nearly slipped from my grasp but with a lot of struggling I pushed it back up over my shoulder. I felt myself rise higher, the elevation changed, that was for sure. No problem, I thought. The air is my territory. Somehow, I wasn't convinced. The giant looked me in the eye as I rose to his face. I couldn't really do anything. My sword, which had magically stayed clutched in my hand, was pretty much useless. I could barely lift that limb from the way he was pinning my arms to my sides. Then, before I could blink I'd disappeared down a large gaping hole. It took me a moment to realize it was a mouth. I was in the giants mouth. My first thought? Oh, gross there's gonna be all kinds of bacteria in here. Then the panic flooded in, piercing my iron emotions and letting all kinds of havoc break through. Luckily, I hadn't tumbled down the throat yet. (Yet.) I stumbled to my feet trying not to slip on the giants wet tongue and ran for the walls of his mouth. I pounded and kicked and was just about to break out my sword when the giant inhaled- yeah, things got ugly. I was on the verge of a meltdown. Call me a lame hero, but I wasn't prepared for this. What made it worse was that no one would even care if I died. And then...all hell broke loose. My sword clattered in between the giants huge teeth, one of my bag straps tore, gunk splattered all over me and that's not even the worst part. I was sucked down into the throat, and to be honest I screamed like a girl. Wind tore past me, violently knocking me down, I didn't even have time to control it (with my awesome powers of course.) And then, as if by some miracle, my groping hands found a hold. The squishy dangly thing in the giants throat. Don't ask me what those even do, I can't tell you even if I knew. Maybe my father was listening to my prayers after all. But a hint of doubt crept into my mind, thinking that my salvation had only been a piece of luck. Still, that hold was saving me from falling to my death (I seemed to do that a lot now. Must be a new hobby) and I had a death grip on it. I clung to the (what was it called?) uvula, climbing up it until my feet weren't dangling down the throat. I wondered if I could fly to the other side, back to the safety of the tongue. But I doubted it. Flying vertically was a challenge for anyone, especially in a position like mine. Besides, I'd never tried flying...and fine I'll admit it. I'm afraid of heights. All I've ever done is shoot lightning bolts, flying was never one of my favorite games. Jupiter thought I was a screw up. I acted to "graceus" for him. There, I said it. That's why he told me to hunt giants, not for fame or fortune. Just because he wanted me out of the house and where no one could find me. Not like he could kill me himself. Go ahead, make fun of me. Not that it matters, I'll be dead in a few minutes. Who am I kidding? Trying to be a hero? Trying to get someone to notice me? Love me? I thought. If I get out of here alive I am going to have a word with my father. Maybe put his life in danger, see how he likes it. And I won't help him at all. Then I gulped and closed my eyes. All I want is some recognition. That your proud to be my father. Is that too much to ask? My muscles were growing tired. I wouldn't be able to jump the distance it took. I had two options. Fall into the stomach (who knows what would happen from there?) or fly to the tonge. So I closed my eyes, braced myself and... Falling. I didn't know the slightest idea how to fly. I wasn't sure where to begin, all I knew was I was taking the hard way down to the tummy. I'm pretty sure there's acid in there- probably not something I would want to mess with. Up. I closed my eyes tighter, my forehead wrinkling in concentration. Come on. Higher. Planes, taller, bigger, tallest. Helicopters, jets. Flying, birds. I was going to wear myself out thinking so hard, geez. I think that did it, anyhow. As soon as I thought those very important things, I began to shoot upwards. It was all I could do not to scream and panic. I'll admit I might have upchucked a little, but I didn't feel bad because it dropped into the giants stomach. I wasn't exactly flying, more like floating. There weren't any air currents, so I couldn't ride them and take a break. It used a lot of my energy, I was gasping and croaking like an old man. I'm sure I looked like a threat. (Sarcasm). For some reason I had this weird thought. If I'd ever had a family...well I wouldn't treat them like my dad did to me. As I flew up I vowed that if I got out of here alive I'd settle down and raise a family. We'd be happy, we'd finally be happy. I'd be happy. When I reached the tongue I almost slipped off the edge of it as I climbed up, and that would have been the end of Will's miserable life. So much for family. But wait- those little bumps in the tongue saved me. I grapped hold and didn't let go until I had a firm grip on the slippery ground. I backed away from the edge, the light of my sword making everything see-able. (I would have been in complete darkness.) I walked down, retrieved my sword and without a moments hesitation, stabbed my blade into the giants gums. I was angry- no furious- that giant seriously needed to die. And man, he screamed louder than Apollo when he had to go to the dentist. I braced myself for a huge blast- it came. I would have been pulled back down the throat but then again, when your scream, you always exhale. I bent the wind a little as I fell out, tumbling out of the giants mouth head over heel. This wasn't going to be a decent landing. Crap. I blinked searched my pack as I fell from who knows how high. UP! UP! I screamed but my powers were worn out. I was going to die, and after all that too. Such a shame. I thought to myself. The wind blew my hair, whistled in my ears. I could barely see. My bag fell off my arm (yeah I know, it stayed with me that entire time, seems a little suspicious). My clothes billowed out, the breeze stung my cheeks. I wish I'd died in some graceful position. I wasn't a sky diver pose doing a free fall. Instead I was sloppily flipping end over end. My thoughts? Elysium. Please. I don't care if my dad didn't want me. Let me try again... And then...a brilliant flash of light and I hit the ground. Or...I think I hit the ground. I don't remember. I hear voices around me. Light floods through my eyelids. Where am I? Why can't I remember anything? He chose for rebirth. I hear people say around me. Who did? Who are they talking about? And then the voices fade away, and a different kind of setting takes place leaving me more confused than ever. I can't bring myself to open my eyes. If I do...the last thing was...falling? That's it...no...maybe...and I might be injured. If I wake up, the pain will come, won't it? I can't do it, and then again I have to. Then I finally open my eyes. I've forgotten everything. What is this? A white room, with a white bed. A horrible beeping noise fills my ears. I coo, something I've never done before. I watch as my own tiny hands make a clapping gesture. Am I dead? What happened? And then, those thoughts disappear almost as quickly as everything happened. "I'll name him Jason." The woman smiles down at me. She's pretty, '' are my only thoughts. I see out of the corner of my eye, an little girl with black hair peeping out at me from behind the pretty woman's back. "Welcome to the family," the girl says, smiling gently. '''Done' Category:Fanfiction Category:HunterofArtemis12 Category:One-Shot Category:Hunter's little collection of Fanfiction